I had the craziest dream yesterday. I’m assuming that it was a scary dream? I’m not sure. I guess I was working for the devil, and every time I’d go to work it’d be in this large factory. And there were all these tables around with bodies on them. The people would be alive, but just barely. Either that or it was their souls, but I’m pretty sure that they were alive. Anyways, there would be all these tables around and when you’d move them an inch, these steel things would come down and smash them, but not completely. Just crush them until they could barely stay alive. And they would scream. I guess there were two people, a man and a woman who I had a special interest in. And for some reason, I wanted to get them to the other side of the room. I guess to get out. But every time I moved them, the steel would come down again, and I’d start crying and screaming too, because it hurt them. And I could see them holding hands, screaming in agony because of me.
And then I went to the store with my mom, and somehow got rid of my job by giving it to someone else, this boy. You get the job when the devil comes up to you and asks you if you want to improve the world. And you say yes. And he asks how. And you say something to the effect of being an angel or working for an angel. And a few days later, I could see the haunted look in that boy’s eyes. And I knew what he was going through, so I decided I’d help him. So the devil came up to me again and asked me if I wanted to improve the world. And I said yes. And he asked me how. And I said something like, “By helping and encouraging others, and being the best that I can be, without depending on anyone’s help.” Or something. It sounded much, much better in my dream. Basically, I said that because I don’t believe in God, I can’t believe in the devil, and that if I can learn to change the world by myself, that’s the greatest change. I can inspire others to act just by acting, and that’s more than enough improvement, because of the domino effect. So it turned out to be this really strange dream, but it was half scary, half enlightening.
I think… I’m Atheist. These two quotes make me believe so:
1. “Sadness of a God who would need people to pray to him…” (Everything Is Illuminated)
2. “My response is that when Creationists talk about God creating every individual species as a separate act, they always instance hummingbirds, or orchids, sunflowers and beautiful things. But I tend to think instead of a parasitic worm that is boring through the eye of a boy sitting on the bank of a river in West Africa, a worm that's going to make him blind. And I ask them, 'Are you telling me that the God you believe in, who you also say is an all-merciful God, who cares for each one of us individually, are you saying that God created this worm that can live in no other way than in an innocent child's eyeball? Because that doesn't seem to me to coincide with a God who's full of mercy'.” (David Attenborough).
I cannot believe in a God who could do such a thing. Also, it seems that many Christians guilt themselves into following God. For example, on my friend’s MySpace page it says “I think sometimes we forget that Jesus Christ died for us on that cross and he went through all that pain to save us and yet we are still so selfish. That's something that is hard for me to forgive myself on, putting him on that cross.” She did not put Jesus on the cross. See what I mean by guilt?
I have never told anyone this, so please don’t judge me.
